1. |
salmon kill
01:16
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i dont care about sex
i only care about drugs
i dont care about rock and roll
i only care about drugs
i dont care about life
i tried it wasnt enough
i only care about distractions
i only care about drugs
and sometimes i forget
that one day life will end
and that everything is just pretend
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2. |
i swear he's a bad omen
02:13
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well i've killed everyone that i love in my head
because its just so much easier to love someone
if you think that they're dead
oh i'll tear off your arms and your legs and your head
and i'll cry at your funeral
then go back to bed
i've heard its harder to sleep in a bed
that you've been in all day
seems that way
i've even tried thinking of colors but everything
comes out as grey
i can't stop looking for needles when i go to hit the hay
go to sleep
well i'm trying my best but it seems that my brain
has far too much to say
well i hate everyone that i've ever met
because its just so much easier
to hate everyone
when you spend all your nights alone in bed
oh well i'll sit here for hours on end
until my thoughts start again
my new tv best friend
will tell me its pretend
oh fuck do i need the rest
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3. |
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4. |
isola bella
03:04
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they kept them locked on an island in the lake
like wolves they would howl every night
they were perfect blank slates
but were they scared to go to sleep
because the only thing real they ever saw was in their dreams
and i remember the night i woke up
my mom was in the other room
folding laundry with the tv on
it was late i was surprised she was awake
and she held me in her arms
and told me things would end ok
how can a newborn be adorable
imagine the fear in being born
an entire new existence unbeknownst to you
and entire lifetime to live for
i just want to hold something till it dies
i want to be the reason for mass suicides
i don't mean harm on anyone don't get me wrong
i just want to feel the life of something real
and pretend that its my own
i can't remember what its like to feel alive
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5. |
fxe
01:16
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i’ve never found the time to
stop and look at the mountains
no, i’ve never found the time to
stop and really look at anything
i think i’ve had my eyes closed my whole life
i think that if i opened them
i wouldn’t really see much else
i think that my mind has created all that i will ever see
because nothing lately has seemed so surprising
i think that your eyes are pretty
i think that thought way too much
i think that i think too much
and sometimes when i'm alone
these thoughts just repeat for hours on end
like a post-midnight tv schedule
yet i watch these episodes that i’ve seen already
because i'm afraid of silence
i think i'm losing touch
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6. |
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you could break it down
into a series of misconceptions
but i don't have the time
please turn off the lights
i'm not saying that i'll feel better
but theres a better chance i might
and i still get the same feeling that i did
running from the monster on pinetree ridge
in the summers at twin lakes as a kid
bite my lip until it bleeds
a good nights rest is all i need
my visions blurry
its getting hard to breath
i could just go home
the only place that i know
wont collapse on me
its getting hard to breath
suffice to say my fear is more
than just a face painted on a rock
down that road
whats real or not im not too sure
am i alive
is this a lie
we let go of joey's leash
the dog ran ahead and we followed
there was no bear or sound
or really any tangible excuse for our fears
but was there a tangible excuse for us being there?
we walked down that limestone road
with no presumptions
we weilded but a crabapple and a hound
and left with nothing but fear
fear of nothing
fear that something may have existed
and now we are left to wonder
if our reactions would have been the same
if there were really a monster on that road after all
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7. |
hold my breath
03:06
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if i hold my breath
i bet i could die
i know youd love to tell me otherwise
so lay on my chest i'll close my eyes
breath out i'm alive
you took your tears from your cheeks
and wiped them under my dry eyes
you told me not to cry
this happens every time
i'm a ghost
and i know that a ghost is nothing to trust
because you need something to hold
and i'm just dust
when you said goodnight were you tired
did you really go to bed
or did you make up
all those vivid dreams that you claimed you had
because you were scared to see me like this
upset and alone
i close my eyes
i feel your breath
im home
maybe i can't die if i hold my breath
well what if you held it for me
maybe i can't die if i hold my breath
at least im happy
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8. |
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i hung up take out menus
on the wall
for a lack of decoration
in an act of desperation
to put meaning to this place
how could i leave
a place where the sun always sets so sweetly
and the stars are out almost every single night
school has started again
along with your smoking habit
oh well its so tragic
how disatorous these past months have been
if gravity is nothing more than an apple
falling from a tree
then what is relativity but
the distance in which it lands
and i've landed here
for better or for worse
of that im still unclear
im the furthest thing from sure
if i'll make it past this year
so i'll start building to rebuild
and stop building to destroy (s/o drake)
and i'll start a whole new life
closer to what i had before
before i ran away
to the top of mount olympus
im a coward not a god
hiding behind a paper fortress
so how could i leave
a place where the sun always sets so sweetly
and the stars are out almost
every single night
|
Beans New York
ben martines
searching my brain curves
for pieces of what could be
peace of mind
or what my dog may have
left behind (poop)
FORMERLY TWIN LAKES
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